Lying awake, but I’m motionless,
Ignoring the impulse to move,
Unforeseen dancers and pulses,
But all I can do is just lose,
Lose everything that I’ve wanted,
My very desire, unreal,
If this was the answer, my darling,
Then I guess which bed you know to steal.
So leave me, leave me to lie,
Know me, but just for tonight,
I’m fearful - of my own inability,
To snake charm your heart,
Find joy, finally. 
Loser, loser they call,
I’m a loser, my brain is in stall,
I’m falling from distances,
Fathoms so deep,
But when you live in reverse,
You die in your sleep 

I do recall about a year or so,
When I met you first,
Your skin like silken snow,
And I haven’t seen your face even once since then,
But y’words are enough make my heartbeat hasten.
You’re worth so much more —
— than metaphors,
You’re the clapped encore,
You’re the coming storm,
To channel out the norm,
That constrains my days,
You’re the radiant one,
A light that can’t help but stray,
Into a world of my own,
Reflecting a feeling of embrace,
You are the fiery heart,
That fuels my hearth,
You are a torch in my hand,
That devastates the dark,
You are a fair, lovely lass,
Time, I’d like to pass,
And if by the time we next meet,
You do find a boy,
I won’t get jealous,
Not even annoyed,
You’re just a wonderful soul,
Though, you may not agree,
But climb onto the ledge,
And jump onto the tree,
Take a risk, my darling,
And just let it be,
Let your thoughts rest softly,
You lovely — sleeping beauty.

All I have are lines and phrases,
Shining bright, yet never fazes,
Won’t you peak a bit, my darling,
Look at words, forever scarring,
I am god, I am Lord Satan,
Destroying all I am creating,
And these words are fucking useless,
- reminiscing of the blue prints,
The planning of a new construction,
Bringing life and death, destruction,
Leading masters of corruption,
Petrified, without a function,
Oh, you, you are the sweetest one.

“Hello, I am Useless,” said the boy to the girl,
He watched as she walked away, gold bouncing curls,
Time after time,
- this becomes the standard ploy,
She’ll smell the insecurity like strong liquor,
- on the mouth of the boy.
I swear I’m not weak, I’m as strong as the trade winds,
and I’m just as strong as much as the Devil is sin,
And I’d walk these feet raw just to find you,
Tipping my hat, dreaming you’d set the cue.
I suppose, I suppose, am I to blame myself?
I long for a way to place my mind on the shelf,
And have no inhibitions, finally be free,
Maybe then, maybe then, you’d fin’lly love me.

I’d kill to be a pretty boy,
To be to girls, their very joy,
I’d kill to break their hearts on sight,
Or bring their souls on idealistic flights,
I’d kill to be a handsome man,
To have you close and hold your hand,
I’d kill to be a lot of things,
But most of all, I’d kill to have you fond of me.

Blindfolded tigers and transparent liars,
Find them in the pit,
Oh, Virginia, dear Virginia,
I can no longer deal with it,
The greyest grey to ever be,
Darkness held down by apostrophe,
As I hold calamity,
The hell of hells can find its sea.
Unfurl the sails that seer,
Derail the cars that maintain clear,
Be the wrench, home in the gears,
Dark as onyx, blind as fear.
Devil, dear, am I as you,
I wish to be, then this is true,
Battered lungs, but warm and safe,
Icy winds that burn and chafe,
Humble, humble juggernaut,
Destroy me please, with iron wrought,
Love is pain, love is not,
Bloody hands and deathbound shots,
Pass the drink, I am a drought,
Pass the pipe, used like a clout,
Zephyr, zephyr, love me so,
But gravity won’t let you go,
No and no and no and no,
I want you down, but you found your hold,
You are such a lovely thing,
Lovely, lovely, tired thing,
Epiphantic memories,
And nightly lies, constellate,
Stars of stars, seas of seas,
Burn the souls,
The devil’s pleased,
Give me hope, humanity,
Greed alone has planted seeds,
To give me grief,
To leave me brief,
But there is never love -
For a freak like me.

Lonely places filled with smoke,
Void of those - whose words can choke,
There are times in which I find,
A place like this just to remind,
How distant this causes us to be,
Minds apart since God let us leave,
The gates of heaven, the nursery,
Where love was plenty,
And blood ran clean,
Now I am but frigid stone,
Lulling by, like sullen drones,
Roars of cars, they saturate,
As I look back to the gate,
Let me in, it’s dark out here,
But answered not, the answer’s clear,
I’ve been alone, we’re minds apart,
I’ve been alone, since the gun shot starts
- starts the race for me to finish last,
Burdened down by thoughts of past,
Husk of men walk down this trail,
They pass me by, like brittle shells,
Like weathered sand left upon the shore,
And falling snow on open sores,
You left me here, with all these lies,
No rule books, so I improvise,
I’ve improvised my entire life,
Like hardened thugs with handmade knives,
I want to feel there’s something more,
But you left me stranded at the door,
If there’s a God then he is cruel and firm,
Watching us, like children to worms,
Why would you just leave me here,
With heartless souls and plains of fear,
Take me back, I lack the heart,
I’ve lost the race since the very start.

Finding time aloft by the satellites,
Towards soundless air and vacuum eyes,
Stand fast to correlate with God,
Constellating who I am to dodge.
Lights in beams keep loft the roof,
And shelter thine the dormant truths,
And keeping long the scribes uphold
- the weary laws and scruples of
- untimely breaths and sacrifice,
as I sit atop the satellites.
Do the wishers breathe but finest air,
Or inhale straying smoke without a care,
Do measurements leave lies but bare,
Or absolutes to be pondered, torn, then shared.
There is noise, but it is flat,
Like tundras cold and barrens vast,
Depicting what you will to vie,
Like auras cast through projected eyes,
Likely to wander through out the night,
Till then, I lay on satellites.

What luck for me to wander here,
With candle flames and coat anear,
A lonely girl, my embered dear,
I desire, now, your very whole.
-
How is time to ponder us,
And though I hunger not for lust,
I only wish to be but dust,
And be blankets made of snow.
-
Dust is only you and I,
Composed of death and left array,
Though you are the apple of my eye,
We are all to be but dust.

Distant minds, they’ll always be,
So to maintain proper heresy,
I’ll rip the cloak to now reveal,
Timid hearts, bending steel.
Calamity is the cog that lines
- in with others to define,
A new machine of stalwartness,
To insert darts and indifferents missed.
So play that harp that sings the soul,
And fan the flame the burns the coal,
Tell me that the flame ignite,
So I can sleep with dreams aflight,
And dream of distant dreamy fields,
Accompanied by someone real.
Yet, I know, but all’s not well,
Fallen angels cast their spells,
And dirty harry’s land their tails,
Lain apart, in separate cells,
Until I am to be.